Letterman's Top Ten

Top 10 Questions On Macy's Santa Application

10. "Do you mind checking your gun at the door?"
9. "Have you ever been accused of hiding stolen goods in your beard?"
8. "Can you pretend to be jolly making $6.25 an hour?"
7. "Would your cheeks be red without the scotch?"
6. "Are you prepared to lie about our Playstation 3 availability?"
5. "Reindeer allergies?"
4. "Can you disarm a kid who comes at you with a sharpened candy cane?"
3. "Will your lap support today's obese children?"
2. "Do you own urine-proof pants?"
1. "Are you a cop?"