The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Professor Mark Perry
Chair - Finance Search Committee
University of Michigan-Flint
Flint, MI

Dear Professor Perry,

Thank you for your letter of November 20. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position at your university.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite the University of Michigan-Flint's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor at your university this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen